I spend a lot of time thinking about babies, having the kid, being pregnant, what it will be like to be parents…etc etc etc. And etc. It goes on and on.
I try not to overwhelm B with all this. It’s a lot, and she’s not quite in the same place as me. But sometimes I get carried away. And mostly, I’m quite often thinking about wanting to have the baby as soon as possible, and B is not quite there yet either.
We had always talked about doing it (ie getting preggers) in either September or January. I really want to do september. She wants to do January.
Now I have no desire to push B into something she’s not comfortable with. One of the most important things to me is that we go into this together, that we are equal parents who split our responsibilities as equally as possible, and that B is just as bonded to our baby (which won’t have her genetics, but will still be made out of her and I in the nurture sense) as me. So I don’t want to push her.
But then I have all these baby thoughts spooling around in my brain! And B and I are nothing if not honest with each other, we are communicators of the first order. So I was at a bit of a loss as to how to marry these two things – not push B by talking about babies all the time, but not be dishonest to myself or B about what’s going on in my mind. Plus, when you’re thinking about babies this much, it’s hard not to talk about it!
But we came up with a solution! I’ve asked B to consider the idea of getting pregnant in September, and I will ease off talking about babies. Because I kind of realized that part of what was driving me to talk about it so much was a sneaky thought that if I did, I could kind of sneakily convince B to do September instead of January. So if I know she’s thinking about it and considering it herself, I don’t need to do that.
Let’s see how it goes.